today, i realized something..and its that i have gradually labelled and thought of myself as incompetent and maybe even stupid when it comes to math subjects...the problem with that is sooner or later if i dont change my point of view about that it might spread...then ill generalize myself as les incompetant...and i know im not..i can understand it when i force myself to when i dont rely on others help..and tryto do it on my own, i love help and it would be hippocrital *is there such a word* if i said that i wouldnt ask for help coz i know i will...sigh i can do it if i believe its all in the head hahaha..

i thank you *bow*

*labo*

she told the story ... 10:07 PM

today is a sunday i cant believe how time flew so fast. anyway today i had a bad feeling apart from remembering my mum died dream *according to the books its not a literall meaning it more of a u need to refresh or let go of something about that person* mum and i had a conversation about what i wanted for my 18th bday, coz more than anything i want my own room...but she told me that 1.if ever that will happen i have to share with my brother and 2.it really wont matter since its too expensive to have something built that i might not have any money for my tuition..she explained to me that maybe when i have a job then i could have a room. i understood what she was trying to say i really did i just felt so well sorry for myself coz id be working and i would still be in the same room..i dunno i felt sentemental...and or room being a total mess did not help...i try to thin that im not a petty person, in fact i keep on forcing myself to look at the bigger picture which is why i conclude that both my eq and iq had a seizure earlier today...the good news is that they have fully recovered hehe..

thats a good thing

she told the story ... 3:38 AM

today i feel like a big blah..literally will there ever come a day that i will do well in a bloody chem exam...i have no idea but i am trying god i cant flunk again...i dont want to type anymore it will just add to my depression .....aaaaagggggggghhhh

she told the story ... 10:42 PM

today has been very hard complicated and difficult, maybe coz most of my muscles still hurt like hell and y mom sniggers at me and calls me a baby when she came with me to enroll...i can enroll by myself i have done it before, but i dont like meddling around with blank checks...it was good she came though coz there was some revisions in the check and every revision needs to be signed. so we took a lnog time there. then we went to the wake of kuya sherwin i got there in a terrible mood because i was tired and my muscles hurt. i regretted it instantly when i arrived there because i felt sorry i didnt even want to see him in the casket...but the really mind boggling part about my day is superstitions that mum asked me to do. 1. we had to stop somewhere before we go home, something about evil spirits not being able to follow home. 2. not being 13 in a vehicle...hello for what basis 3. changing your clothes outside of the house, she really asked us to...we couldnt enter unless we changed...well i did outside at our third floor so that no one will see hehe in the dark...aggk. now the mind boggling part is whether i dont know if im gonna continue these superstitions...i dont trust them and i find them irritating but what if there is still that chance that it might be true...what would you do???

she told the story ... 6:01 AM

dag nabbit this sucks my diary/planner/schedule/pic holder is missing i must have left it somewhere, come on who in the right mind would take that. it has my name and contact number, why didnt anybody bother to return it, or at least give it to the lost and found. aggh there are semi embarassing stuff there. curses...

oh and as it seems i suck at pop quizzes coz i just failed one today agggggghhhhh

she told the story ... 8:32 PM

today has been both nice and very bad, i woke up early this morning like 5 because i wanted to go to gaia and play. then boom mom tells me something bad happened that kuya sherwin my cousins husband (the one i attempted to donate bllod to but i fainted) died this morning...i was like whaaat ...how could that happen just yesterday mum had a conversation with my cousin and everything was peachy. he was very young, both of them were very young, 1 year at marriage then boom...nada... its just really sad, it made me think how really fragile life is, a perfecly healthy man 1 day and dead the other...i dont even know what to say to my cousin...what do you say, does condolence honestly cover it...i dunno.

maybe all i can do now is pray that maybe hes in a better place...

though today i got the autograph of a singer that i like, well i liked 1 song...sigh...

she told the story ... 10:37 PM

well technically its 2007 but what the hell, today has really been very eventful because 1. i actually woke up early enough not be late for a call time of 6:00 am (hehe for all of you who dont know where i live its in valenzula) and 2. i had fun really, even though im tired as hell, and my feet hurt like mad...my kid was well not my real kid again coz i signed for adhd, but the kid i got had down syndrome...it was ok my kid was nice he didnt bite me which is a major plus...but he kept on running and running, my entire duration there consisted of walking, running, forcing him to play games, running, running and more running... it was actually sad because he couldnt talk and i dont think he understand squat what me and my partner was saying (ill tell u all about him later) he just reacted to our nudges, body language and well our smiles of encouragement... he smiled though which is a good sign coz it means that at least he's happy..all that work did not go in vain coz our kid was happy, urica...oh and he had a wonderful mom...hope she hangs in there ...

now let me get to my partner who has a very weird name, wilex ...(ok im not sure with the spelling) hes very nice, i liked him alot, shy but nice, he reminded me of carl...he was a gentleman to coz when our kid toppled the trash cans i was clostest, and therefore more eligable to pick up the garbge cans, he told me to leave it then he entered the gate thingy and picked it up himself. hes also great with kids, not only our kid (at ftk) but to other kids as well, it seemed natural for him to play with them. and the kids warmed up to him easily. unfortunatly he didnt talk much, and we talked very little as our time was spent trying to chase our kid...but what paltry detail i found out is this: hes pure chimese from ccs, (naturally taking up computer science)and he lives near the school...*sigh* well thats about it hehe

jed and keisha were also great with their kid hehe ...join kayo ulit nex year haha

wah reality is tom i have class ....noooooooooooooooooo...hate school aggh more chem, dag nabbit!!! anyway this entirely too long so bye

she told the story ... 6:16 AM

You are a Career Girl!

You may not be a CEO yet, but you're well on your way to success. You take your career seriously, and you wouldn't stop working for any guy! An independent woman, you pay for your own car, clothes, and housing. And men appreciate that - at least, the ones as driven as you are.

What Kind of Girl Are You?

You Should Own a Husky

Athletic, free-spirited, and perfect for cuddling

What Kind of Dog Should You Have?

You Are Artemis!

Brave, and a natural born leader. You're willing to fight for what you believe in... And willing to make tough decisions. Don't forget - the people around you have ideas too!

What Goddess Are You?

What Your Black Outfit Means

You're a sophisticated woman with big city taste. You have a strong creative force - even if you don't wear the boldest clothes. You tend to intimidate people. But the right guy won't be intimidated by you! Designer match: Dolce & Gabbana Signature accessory: Gold framed sunglasses

What Does Your Favorite Outfit Say About You?

You Are a Classic Beauty!

You have a timeless beauty that looks great in every decade Instead following trends, you stick to what works And this means you never skimp on your beauty routine Upside? Your classic looks tends to attract gentlemen - not boys.

What Type of Beauty Are You?

she told the story ... 8:53 PM

You Belong in Paris

Stylish and a little sassy, you were meant for Paris. The art, the fashion, the wine, the men! Whether you're enjoying the cafe life or a beautiful park... You'll love living in the most chic place on earth.

What City Do You Belong In?

she told the story ... 8:10 PM

my brain has finally collapsed and is being eaten away by vultures...damn, physics was a bust (why are all those really complicated subject teachers so effin boring) i got contradicted so many times i thought i would completely grow a dunce hat automatically...hay i tried...crackers and i was yawning every 5 min which is really a bad thing bacause i was right in front of his face...i really couldnt help it...aggh..now i am perceived as i dunno dunce girl or whatever...dag nabbit..

she told the story ... 7:38 PM

sigh..all my entries seems to start with a sigh...im back at school, re taking chem, awful sched and more tired than ever...still havent slept..well since when i was at vicas house we slept at 8, when im in my house i slept at 1 so where does that take me...very sleepy abby on the first day of school, well i guess its ok coz i still managed to make my sched work out, and all my teachers are great...especiall my devpsyc prof, she is so cool haha...sigh, actually i can go on forever about my life but i dont wanna type no more so....oh and my rosary broke i just really hope its not a bad omen...ciao

she told the story ... 9:40 PM

me at vica house horrah plus i finally got what i want in gaia...gwee the dragon yay hehehe

she told the story ... 9:21 PM

i had the scariest dream it was so surreal, i was transfered to ust that much i can remeber, then suddenly i want there it was like i was in some kind of other place . . . it was weird it wasnt me but i was watching her life...she entered some sort of org....she was wearing a gown when she swam in a pool..then the scene changed it was evil, dhe was trapped inside house first made to conquer her fear, she was asked to face a kapre ot a cyclops like thing . . .the way to beat them was to pull the upper lip up and then the lower lip down...she did do it sucessfuly...then the devil came, he had 2 creatures with hin the first looked like a newly born mammoth (who was supposedly gonna bring the end of the world), the second was a dog like wolf...she and the others crowched low nevermind if they were enemies or not, coz up until before the devil came the girl or me (i dunno) was still good and trying to get out of that house...but when he came fear like any ather came...he suddenly walked towards the huddled group one by one saying who was loyal and not...i or she was not loyal... a new rule came no one was to set foot ou of the house or else they would die, . . the an angel came to me or the girl..told her to leave the house no matter what kind death is in store god would always be there . . .so she did she left the house, before she could even crosss the grass the devil and his wolf was there...he asked where she was going...she said to leave, he asked if she knew she was going to die if she did that, and she replied that everybody has to die sometime...she started scattering some straw on the grass as she walked further towards the pavement...before she could take that last step the devil raised his hands and she backed away...she just said to wait for awhile coz she was scared...just then a voice called her name it was jesse and the angel was just ouside the grass ...so jesse just walked on and for the first time in a very long time she didnt feel afraid, guilty, sad...there was just contentment of released fear...she ooked at the sevil...and he said, its over your dead...her body was crumpled beside him not tuching the pavement ...it was inside the grass...but jesse felt really happy, for her soul was outside nothing else mattered...she looked at the angel beside her, smiled and with that they were gone....

that dream still gives me the creeps...i actually prayed right after that that never happens...aggh darn..sigh....well hehe t least it still had a happy ending

she told the story ... 5:12 PM

sigh well new year is over...time to face reality and problen=ms again, school wise that is...i still havent fixed my schedule, i havent enroelled, i havent returned the book that i was supposed to return before the holidays, im a bum.

sigh again the most awful thing happened yesterday, well maybe not most awful but it was gross, i was taking a bath and fr the first time in a very long time ...i used a loofa and after like 1 min of scrubing a cockroach fell aggh, i dropped the loofa talaga eww eww eww eww, im never using that again agggh!!!!!

well im still at gaia...hay....im earning money very slowly but at least honestly agggghhhh

she told the story ... 4:48 PM

i am a college student
i am fascinated with anything weird *not sick*
i like the color red
i like books
and i dont care what
the hell people do with their lives,
if their happt it works

~ art
~passion
~ determination
gaia online


~ i want a balloon.
~ fly to the moon.
~ become a loon.

cbox